Friday, October 31, 2008

The Definite Possibilities

How is it possible that the ONLY Christian MFA in Acting program completely fell through my searches until last Wednesday? I have no idea but if you saw this whole thing from my perspective you'd see that God was obviously hiding it from me for some reason; waiting for the exact moment to say, "How about Regent, Hey." (Said with a Dakotan accent as God speaks to me that way now) It goes like this: Last Wednesday Emily introduced me to a admissions counselor from Regent University's Law School. She had met him the day before and had told me that she wanted this guy to marry her sister. Regent had always hung around in the back of my head because my professor, Susan K Berkompas, used to advertise something about their school all during my undergrad studies. What this was exactly wasn't coming to mind at the time of me meeting Mr. Wholschlegal (or something like that.)

I asked him if Regent had a Theater program and he was sure they had some kind of arts program but was unsure if they had any MFA in Acting program. His uncertainty led me to believe they did not...until Susan K Berkompas came strolling by at that very moment. And as she was walking by I said, "Sue, what was that thing you would always send e-mails out about Regent?" She said, "Oh their MFA in Acting program. It's the only Christian centered one in the world and its awesome and oh I know all the Faculty so you'd be a shoe-in." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My excitement thus launched through the roof and I went back to my office and started researching. There are three things that I desire most in an MFA in Acting program. One, that it would be Christian though I had given up hope on this aspect. Two, that it would prepare me for teaching at the collegiate level. And three, that it would give me some kind of opportunity to at least try the whole professional acting thing after I graduate with an MFA. Well, what do you know!? Regent University offers all three of those fantastic little jewels of my desire and to top it off they have an audition at Azusa Pacific at the end of February.

I immediately started looking into their admissions requirements and realize they require GRE scores in which I have none. Questions begin to arise...do I submit the application and scores and such before or after the audition? What is Virginia like? Do I have a shot in hell that they'll accept me? What will I eat for dinner tonight as I have to go to rehearsal for Our Town? Am I a good director? Am I a good actor? What are GRE scores?

I needed answers. So I found an inquiry section on Regent's website and asked a few questions about the GRE scores and such. No joke....5 SECONDS LATER! (Okay so it was really like 45 seconds-ish) my cell phone rings and a representative from Regent, who just happened to have graduated with her MFA in Acting was on the other end...crazy! She answered all of my questions except for the self-worth ones.

All of this within a span of about three hours. Instantly I began to be excited about completing my MFA instead of dreading it. What's even better is Emily was just as excited, which as my mom told me once, is a great sign that that is something God is telling you to do.

So obviously nothing is official yet and if you ask my co-workers I've pretty much already moved there. As well as my brother, who we just found out over a phone conversation that Virginia Beach is only a half-hour away from where he'll be living (!!!!!). But Regent is a definite possibility and moving across the country is becoming more and more a reality. I just need to get a good score on the MAT exam (its better, according to the girl from Regent), get three letters of recommendation, write a personal life statement, and come up with the best three minute audition of my life! Piece of cake. As Nolf put it today, "You'll be fine. You want it bad enough."

I do. I really do.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My heart was pounding yesterday

as I dropped off my application for U/RTA (University/Residential Theater Association) and the NUAI's (National Unified Audition and Interviews) which I will be attending February 6th in Las Vegas.

The sending of this application marks the first time in my life I have absolutely no idea what my future looks like completely.

When I was a sophomore in high school I decided to go to Vanguard. I didn't apply to any other colleges. The closest I got to going anywhere else was when I looked at Biola's website and thought it was boring. I don't think I even made it past the homepage.

When I was a sophomore in high school I got hired in the Financial Aid Office at Vanguard; a job I knew I would have at least until the end of college. By my junior year I knew they were planning on hiring me on as full time staff after I graduated and thus I figured I would just get my masters degree here in religion.

Two weeks into my relationship with Emily I started to know she was the one I would marry. A year and half latter we were married. This seems to be only thing at the moment that seems everlasting.

This spring I'll be directing Pinocchio for CYT in Temecula, California and in June my wife and I are leading a short term missions trip to Tanzania, Africa. But after that?

After I've been staff at Vanguard for over a year, begun this masters program, got hitched and even landed three directing jobs I'm at a cross roads in which the direction will be entirely determined by a 3-5 minute audition that isn't for another 3 1/2 months. That is why my heart was pounding as I sealed the envelope with my application in it and handed it to the girl in mail services yesterday, realizing how much work I have to do before February 6. Emily and I don't have a specific school in mind. We have to go wherever they give us the most money...the options are endless per say and that's freaking me out.

I am, as they say, futuristic. My head is always in the future...planning and coming to terms with what's to come. Getting a grasp on future events so there are no surprises. I weigh every scenario and decide how I will react, pay, fight, deal etc.

It's not that I don't embrace change, I love change. But change for me has to come on my time and by my decision.

So as I'm in this lull until I figure what fall 2009 is going to look like I'm doing a few things to slow my heart rate down.

The first is coming to the realization that no matter what the outcome, I have options and none of them are bad. If I don't get into an MFA program this fall I'll still have a full-time job and two theater companies that will continue to ask me back to direct for them. This time next year I'll try U/RTA again only this time for acting and directing as I'll have 5 or more shows under my belt. If I do get into grad school, Emily and I will go on our first big adventure, move to wherever I get accepted and get a fellowship and get my MFA done in three years and then find a job at a university somewhere and teach...after a few successful movies of course.

The second way I'm calming myself is doing my very best, though not quite succeeding yet, to give this whole thing to God. This U/RTA situation is really going to take a huge amount of trust in God. I have no doubt that with some work I can put together a pretty damn good audition...but what God's going to do with it I have no idea and thus He is teaching me to trust in him fully. No matter how futuristic I am, my life is in His hands, not mine. God is telling me to stop trying to take three steps ahead just so I can glance real quick at what's around the corner.

Don't take what I'm saying as complaining. I'm in a very good place right now. I consider myself immensely blessed for all the amazing thing I have, including options.

So, deep breath....

Now if I could only find a freaking contemporary humorous monologue.